July 2007 Archives

I had a very fitful night Thursday night. When I woke up Friday morning, wife says, "I'm mad at you, you woke me up twice." Turns out I was tossing and turning enough to really disturb her, and she said I called out something unintelligible at some point and woke her up with that."

I rolled back on my back and stared at the ceiling, closing my eyes to sort out what I was feeling, and the residuals from the night weren't pleasant.

Anger. Lots of it. And not from me, either, I haven't been that angry with someone/something in years. So, if it wasn't me, where did it come from?

I usually shield myself before I fall asleep. I have a little ritual I go through while lying there to get my shields to a level where I'm comfortable that no serious nasties will bother me while I sleep. Problem is, sometimes I crash before I can get to that, and Thursday night was a good example of that.

I've got two friends of late that I worry about and try to send positive energy regularly to. One of them has a combination of a bit of depression as well as your basic stress, so I like to fix on this person and send them the psychic equivalent of a big hug from a good friend. This is easy for me to do, since I've done a lot of work with astral projection over time. I try to get a basic geographical fix on the person, visualize them, and then go for a connection. Feedback I've received over time is that something is working right with this.

When it's simple "hug" energy, the overall implications for me are no big deal. I'll shield myself, then go out looking. True healing energy, however, takes more effort, which is why I wait usually wait until bedtime to attempt this. I cooked Thursday night, and we had a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio with dinner, and the natural impairment of a few glasses of wine clouded my process by bedtime. Instead of shielding properly, I went ahead and began to send my friend (who had a very bad day pain-wise) as much energy as I could. This drained me out, and I pretty much zonked out.

That combination left me way too open to others' influences. I think I've isolated the source of the anger, and have taken steps to block that. Here's how I make all this work from a visualization point of view:

Shielding: Start by laying down on the bed or a sofa. Relax your body from your toes up to the top of your head. Visualize yourself upright at this point, rising towards the Kether, the infinite. Open your mind to light from Kether and absorb pure white light from that source. Let that light flow through your body, then manifest it around your heart. Project that light out from your heart, letting it spill over onto your body as a protective layer. Use your will to adjust your intent regarding this shield. Is it to be a total defense, allowing nothing in or out, or something less than that?

Over time, you will want to alter the visualization of your shield from simple white light coming from your heart to a color or colors that better reflect your aura.

Blocking: Visualize the source of bad/unwanted energy. Place that person or that source in a corner of your mind, and construct a barrier between you and them. How you visualize the barrier will depend on the strength of the energy, and whether or not you want to keep contact with that person. For example, a simple chain-link fence might be all you need to make your point. If anyone was able to push into my shields to the point where I'm calling out in my sleep, I consider that a problem. In this case, I visualized a brick-and-mortar wall, building it up, row by row, until this threat was blocked out.

Try some of these if you're so inclined, I'm curious to see what mileage you get from them. Better still, tell me how YOU shield.

balance between the physical and spiritual...Yes, this is me today. It's a good day, I'm getting through my to-do list nicely, and it's a good balance of personal and work projects.

Two children are depicted on The Sun card in the Witches Tarot. The one on the left is long-haird and standing in water, the large orb of the sun in the upper left corner. The child on the right is short-haired and standing on land, the orb of the moon covering his? legs in the bottom right corner.

Both children are young enough that they're very androgynous. The left-side child could be a long-haired boy, and the right-side child could be a short-haired girl, or vice versa. They're holding hands, a stone wall behind them.

Ellen interprets the card as the search for knowledge, a decision to seek knowledge. That works with two things I've been working on over the last few days, one spiritual/religious, the other technical.

...seen on www.care2.com:

If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. So let it be. —Scottish Blessing

I came to the Craft about 18 years ago, through a roundabout way. Having been raised Catholic, a strong background in mysticism combined with a keen interest in sword-and-sorcery fantasy novels led me to the study of Ceremonial Magic, mostly from a Christian perspective. Several events in my life at that time led me to seriously question Christianity. I continued my work with CM and Tarot, but shifted to a Pagan framework for worshipping the Deity. I began to investigate various on-line Wiccan/Pagan groups on places such as CompuServe, GEnie, the USENET, and FIDOnet, making some wonderful and interesting friends along the way. I was hesitant about joining a local coven or other face-to-face group, mainly because I was still pretty much in the "broom closet" at this time.

Around 1991, I discovered the late Scott Cunningham's most popular book, Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. I was immediately hooked--his approach was exactly what I was searching for! Scott's simplification of Witchcraft made the Goddess and God very accessible for me, and enabled me to grow in the Craft.

Along the way, I picked up a tarot deck drawn by a fascinating lady named Robin Wood. At the time, I had been working almost exclusively with Chic Cicero's Golden Dawn Ritual Deck. The imagery of Robin's deck was so appealing and so totally pagan that it increased my awareness of the Goddess and God, as well as drawing me more and more into Tarot. The combination of these two teachers, along with all the people I've met and chatted with along the way, have led me to this point in my spiritual development.

I have no Wiccan lineage, pedigree, or "puppy papers." I come from no tradition save my own solitay workings. Not having the street cred of a Scott Cunningham, I prefer to call myself a "Solitary Witch," thereby avoiding direct confrontation with initiates of various traditions who see solitary practice as incompatible with Wicca.

My vocation is teaching. I currently practice that vocation in the computer field, teaching classes for several companies as well as doing consulting work. While I have not felt it was the right time for me to accept students in the Craft, the vocation is calling me and that may be changing.

I'm up for doing some readings with my Witches Tarot deck, if anyone's interested. First three to reply via comment, and I'll read for you.

Most R-W decks show this as a man carrying a bundle of ten wands as if they're a heavy burden, usually on his back. The Witches' Tarot depicts the ten wands as a fence in front of a brick house. The wands are set in line in a low brick wall, then there's a nice green lawn separating the house from the fence. A figure barely visible on the left side of the card is holding a photo of the second floor of the house. The figure appears to be standing on the other side of a stream or creek. The low wall has a small break in it, where a gate might have been at one time, but it's separated from the figure in the card by a very rocky stream bank.

The book interpretation from Ellen of this card says, "Manifestation of thoughtforms. That which the mind has built will come to pass. Discrimination."

Something different hit me with this card. I did a meme earlier about "what university fits you," and that inspired me to make an icon for my school, University of New Orleans. While surfing for a good image to use, I was having a splendid flashback about my college days. UNO is only about three miles from my high school, on the same street. I became very attached to the Gentilly neighborhood, and seeing how much of that neighborhood was destroyed by the storm still breaks my heart.

The figure holding the photo in this card looks to me as if they're trying to go back home. I agree with Wolfe on the general principle that "you can't go home again," but I do believe that some folks are able to do so, if they're willing to make a very serious effort and significant sacrifice. This card illustrates this. The seeker has to cross the water, then navigate a very rocky path. Once there, they have to get past the fence of wands to the very small opening in the wall. It's not a casual day trip to get back.

That if it's OK for them to post user/buddy icons which include a crucifix, they have to tolerate my Pentacle icons.

Today's card is the Six of Swords.

It's an interesting card in the Witches's deck. In most Rider-Waite style decks, the Six of Swords depicts a boatman pushing a boat cotaining six swords across a body of water, usually indicating a journey by water, or the crossing of a gulf meaning. Ellen's deck is totally different. The card is divided in two diagonally. In the top diagonal is a Phoenix Rising; in the bottom diagonal is a "Pelican in its Piety" (think the Louisiana state flag). The two images are separated by six simple swords.

While the usual interpretation of the Six of Swords deals with the "journey" aspect, either specifically by water, or a journey in general, other decks depict the six swords in a circular or "star" configuration and offer an interpretation of "earned success" or "mind focus."

Ellen's interpretation is self-sacrifice leading to re-birth. The pelican feeds her young by plucking at her own breast, self-sacrifice. The phoenix is the ultimate symbol of re-birth.

I've been working on my invoices and blogging at this starbucks this morning, while contemplating things I need to catch up on. I was reminded of those when a fellow Mason stopped in, saw me, and said hello. I've been significantly absent from Masonic activities since I've gone back on the road, and it's going to take a bit of self-sacrifice to get back into the swing of going to Lodge and Consistory. It's all too easy to plead work and family to stay away when, truth be told, it's more that I just get lazy when I'm home.